A Letter to My People (or, “Come on……”)

Dear Fellow Italian-Americans,

Please stop. As someone with the actual namesake of the explorer, Colombo, I understand the desire to praise this ancestral figure as something of a hero. After all, I would much rather have a last name shared with a great explorer and discoverer, and not with a mass murderer.

Which is exactly what Christopher Columbus….Colombo…is. A mass murderer. He conquered, enslaved and wiped out entire populations of people. And still, many states celebrate him as if he brought peace to the Middle East (or got lost and brought peace to the wrong place a few centuries ahead of time). But this isn’t a letter to state governments or the US American people. It’s to my own. Because this really needs to stop.

Now, as it turns out, many cities have recognized the atrocity of celebrating this dickweed. And I say dickweed, because like a weed, his dickery spread fast and killed almost everything. Anyway, Seattle, for instance, is celebrating the indigenous people of their city instead of the guy who killed a bunch of them. Halfway through the article, I ran into this:

“Italian-Americans are deeply offended,” Lisa Marchese, a lawyer affiliated with the Order Sons of Italy in America, told The Seattle Times.”By this resolution, you say to all Italian-Americans that the city of Seattle no longer deems your heritage or your community worthy of recognition.”

Seriously? Is that really the argument you want to make? And what, are the indigenous people of Seattle not worthy of recognition? Or how about the fact that there’s still, signed by the president every year, an entire month to celebrate Italian culture and heritage? A month! And besides that, there are other Italians who are much more worthy of praise. How about Serpico? The Italian-American who exposed corruption in the NYPD and put his life on the line (literally) for justice? And he’s just one guy. There are so many other better people to recognize, and we should be. The time of falsifying Columbus as a hero needs to end.

  • He killed millions.
  • He discovered nothing
  • He wasn’t even the first foreign visitor to America
  • Oh, yeah, he killed millions.

And we really have no right to that day. Other explorers deserve it a lot more than he does. And while no explorers are without flaws, almost all of them are better than Columbus.

Columbus should be the figure of our past that we try to ignore and hope people will forget about. Because, and I say this without hyperbole, to celebrate Christopher Colombo is the same as celebrating Adolf Hitler. Except that Colombo killed more people.

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Check out this awesome new story!

Yes, it’s all kinds of messed up, but it’s also really cool. And messed up.

An End to Suffering

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Call for Submissions! (First Ever!)

Call for Submissions! (First Ever!).

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I’m Giving Away Books!

Getting published is a pretty awesome thing. Having people buy your book and want it signed–all the better. I am still very happy to have a book out, so I’m going to give away 5 books via Goodreads. Head over and enter!

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The Carnivorous Vegan

I love steak. I mean, it’s one of the best things created by any deity real or fabricated or both (yeah, figure that one out!). The taste, the texture…this is why man invented fire. Not to keep warm, but to open up a Longhorn (look at cave paintings—they were totally drawing Longhorn Steakhouses). You know what else is awesome? Meatballs. It is a fact that I make the greatest meatballs on planet Earth. Grown men have wept to have my balls in their mouths…yeah, I know what that sounds like, and I’m sticking to it! Also awesome: sausage, bacon, Canadian bacon, chicken, turkey, halibut, prosciutto, salami, pepperoni, ground beef, duck, pulled pork, brisket, hamburgers. You know what goes great with anything listed above? Cheese. By the brick.

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Drinking with Strangers

What is better then reading one really good story?

How about reading 10?

That’s what we’re giving you in Strangers (Of Different Ink)

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My contribution to this collection is a short story called “Capeless City,” about Philadelphia in the superhero age…and their resistance to the idea of Philly having a hero. But they can’t ignore that the rate of powers in the city is growing exponentially, and that’s where Detective Dashiell Cain comes in–a private investigator who unofficially handles all of the city’s superpower occurrences.

You can already buy the book on Amazon (see link above). But on October 25th, the Strangers will gather (as many of us as we can) at 1518 Bar and Grille in Philadelphia to talk and sign. Buy it on Amazon now and bring it, or pick up your copy there, and enjoy a beer with us. We’ll be there from 7-10. It’ll be a good time.

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Top Ten Literary Magazines To Send Your Best Flash Fiction (and maybe get accepted pt.2)

Originally posted on michaelalexanderchaney:

part two

part two

Seasoned writers follow a tiered system when submitting to lit mags. They read the markets and target them wisely. Then they organize their submissions accordingly, in tiers.

Here’s the rule: Only after hearing back from the journals at the top of your list should you move on to those on lower tiers. Otherwise, you might miss out on a great opportunity–not to mention all that salubrious rejection, which is Vitamin X for budding and intermediate writers keen on honing oomph, endurance, and that precious “thick skin” everyone talks about.

Submitting isn’t just about rejections, though. There’s a lot to learn about your own writing in the process and so much other great writing to read and to learn from in the magazines you target. There’s nothing quite like finding the long lost twin or soulmate of some flash you’ve written. Look for broad family resemblances and see if…

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